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The Gap Between Plans: Recalculating

By: Camey VanSant

By Alícia

Recently, I came across a thought-provoking question: When was the last time you paused and recalculated the route of your life, like a GPS? It struck a chord and prompted reflection on my own journey. Just last summer, I stood at a crossroads: the decision between enrolling at Duke after a Gap Year as I had planned or embracing an even more unconventional path—a second year before enrollment and moving halfway across the world to dance with the Romanian National Opera in Timișoara, to fulfill my dream of dancing professionally at a European ballet company.

While the decision was daunting, the past three months in Romania have affirmed the value of trusting my timing and following my heart. This experience is proving to be incredibly rewarding and dancing on the beautiful stage truly feels like the culmination of my lifelong dedication to ballet, which has shaped my life and identity from a young age. Every day, I am immersed in this art form, while navigating the challenges of living completely by myself in a foreign country previously unknown to me. I have embraced the richness of Romanian culture, from strolling around the historic city center—a UNESCO Heritage Site—and attending the multicultural fairs in Timișoara, named the 2023 European Capital of Culture, to discovering the castles in the Carpathian Mountains in the famed Transylvania region while touring with the company, to experiencing the enchantment of the European Christmas markets. I have also forged friendships and had opportunities to learn from dancers from around the globe, including from Germany, Japan, Italy, France, and Romania.

Yet, as remarkable as these experiences have been, arguably one of the greatest gifts has been one I did not anticipate: time. Time to decelerate, reflect, and reroute. For as long as I can remember, my life has been a flurry of activity, driven by ambitions in ballet, academics, and an ever-looming focus on the future—college, and beyond. Even during my first Gap Year, my routine, focused almost solely on ballet, left little room for stillness as I never spent more than three months at a given place.

The first semester of my second Gap Year has allowed me to enjoy precious time with family and open space for new relationships in my life, as well as explore interests long overshadowed by my busy schedule. I discovered a passion for horseback riding, and dove into languages, learning a couple sentences in French (useful in ballet) and practicing my Spanish, which I plan to continue at Duke. I read avidly, from classics to fiction to autobiographies, found joy in vintage music and nostalgic films, and took online courses in personal finance, which sparked an unexpected interest in investing.

But perhaps the most profound moments have been the unstructured ones—the moments of quiet that I initially resisted, trying to fill every second with tasks and to-do lists, mistaking busyness for productivity. Over time, I realized that intentionally setting aside a couple of hours per week after completing my day at the company and daily tasks (which I narrowed down to the ones that were adding value to my routine), to pause and allow myself to be bored for a little while, was not only a good thing, but an essential one.

Slowly, something quite wonderful began to happen.

I felt myself reconnecting with a part of me I hadn’t seen in years: the ever-curious, wildly imaginative child who watched videos of roles she dreamed of dancing and the ballerinas she aspired to become with excitement so genuine she couldn’t sleep at night. Her dreams were fueled by the adrenaline rush of imagining endless possibilities for the future and the joy of daring ideas—like attempting to power a lightbulb using plant energy for the school science fair. While that bold, unbothered 10-year-old has always been within me, she has, at times, been swept up in the rush of routine and the rigidity of carefully laid plans.

In the quiet moments, I found the clarity and creativity I hadn’t known I needed. Ideas began to flow freely—I envisioned business ventures, pictured my dream life, and realigned the path I had planned for myself with my evolving interests and aspirations, rather than following it on autopilot. For instance, the past year of exploration led to an evergrowing interest in business and finance, prompting me to rethink my career path beyond the traditional approach. I have opened my mind to the possibility of majoring in Economics on a Pre-Medical track and began exploring options like an MD/MBA program, imagining myself combining my passions for medicine and entrepreneurship such as by opening my own private practice, becoming a Chief Medical Officer at a finance-focused or healthcare organization, or even pursuing leadership roles as a pharmaceutical or biotechnology executive. These endless possibilities ignite that same excitement within me that feels like rediscovering the spark of my inner child—this time centered on new dreams for the next chapter of my life. I envision the thrill of research, summer internships, ticking off items from my college bucket list, and working tirelessly to create the vibrant, fulfilling life I now see so vividly.

It taught me that progress won’t always be about moving faster or doing more—it’s about moving with purpose. Reflection transforms idleness into a powerful tool to recalibrate your direction, an opportunity to ask: Is my progress heading towards the life I truly want to create? Sometimes, you realize you took a wrong turn, discover that there’s a better path waiting to be explored, or decide to take a detour to enjoy the “scenic route”. I realized pausing isn’t a sign of stagnation; it’s a deliberate act of intention, like pulling over to ensure you are not just driving forward, but choosing the route that will lead you to your desired destination. It’s in those quiet spaces, when the noise fades and distractions disappear, that we find the clarity to dream, the courage to adjust our course, and the creativity to envision a future that truly excites us.

Categories: Alícia